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This is a little late, but still...
I'VE NOW REACHED AND SURPASSED 200 WATCHERS! AND IT ONLY TOOK THREE AND A HALF MONTHS VERSUS NEEDING NEARLY FOUR YEARS TO GET 100! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS MILESTONE REALISTIC!
My thank-you drawing is complete, and a raffle is currently being put together! I dunno when it'll be up, but I'll do my best to make it worth your time!
I'VE NOW REACHED AND SURPASSED 200 WATCHERS! AND IT ONLY TOOK THREE AND A HALF MONTHS VERSUS NEEDING NEARLY FOUR YEARS TO GET 100! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS MILESTONE REALISTIC!
My thank-you drawing is complete, and a raffle is currently being put together! I dunno when it'll be up, but I'll do my best to make it worth your time!
The Soul's Contents
I am writing this journal with a heart heavier than any other time I have written. I am writing this journal because all of my previous talks about change have ultimately not produced enough change. And now... here I am face to face with the cold, jagged wall of reality knocking me down to teach me a hard lesson. I will not go into precise details, but I will tell you all that I made the biggest mistake of my life. It is a mistake that destroyed one of my most treasured friendships and may bring other dear ones to an end as well. And I accept these happenings because it is through my own doing that I am put in this position. That is why, today, I went into an empty classroom at work, got down on my knees and talked to God. That is an idea I have been on the fence with for a while, and before that I was openly hostile towards it. Never again would I look the idea of God in the eye I was so sure... but now I realize that I must. I mean, I suppose I DO have a choice but the thing is, I
Pouring Out
What I want to do is get onto paper exactly what the brain of this perfectionist is like. I want to come to terms with what I'm dealing with because if I don't... well, that's not something I want to happen. I've already seen the dark places it can lead me to as well. It usually starts with high hopes, trying to get an early start to get the most out of the day. If I sleep too much then I become convinced that I don't have the drive to make my dreams happen, even if it's still earlier than I really need to get up. Then when it comes to brushing my teeth, I often let that pass because I need the time to get to Panera and write as soon as they open. I have to use every minute I can get to create. I get to work full of energy, saying hi to everybody and feeling so good about the day. I'm going to make it a great day. Something always happens. Today, it was getting a little frustrated because the kiddos weren't listening to me outside. A teacher overhead me telling one boy that we had
Putting On The Brakes
I'm going to be doing that for a little while because... I've realized what I'm doing to myself through this surge of poems. It feels so good to get all these writings out, but it only DID feel good. Now I realize what I'm doing to myself. I am pushing myself beyond my limits again, creating like a machine and losing sense of what creating is supposed to be. The passion is being tossed aside in favor of chasing purpose. I am determined to use writing to be my purpose. That's why Hellfire keeps getting pushed to the side. It's why I never, ever feel satisfied and spend so many hours a day just writing. Nothing is ever good enough. However, I have changed... I can recognize the problem and have the know-how to address it. So I'm going to slow down and do... I don't know what. Maybe it'll be a little while, and my next piece won't even be a poem. What I do know is that I need to stop doing this to myself. Progress is coming, not always as quick as I'd like but it is coming. And I will
Scribe's Scribble 09/20/23
I come bearing news I am so so so so soooooooooo excited to share with you all: I was offered a job for teaching at the Goddard School, which is a bit of a drive at half an hour but I accepted it because that is the one downside I've seen. It reminded me so much of the job I had in Utah, and I just loved that one. This school has a gym for two and up, a little library, their own cook who will make lunches for the teachers, there's even a couple other male teachers there! The vibes I got from this place are so good, I'm willing to fork over more for gas. My training is tomorrow at 9 AM and you can expect a scribbling on how that goes. For now, I'm off to work on the next chapter in the adventure poem series that still doesn't have a name but... I dunno, kinda fits with being inspired by my younger self. ;P Question: What's one good thing that's happened to you recently? :)
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